Top 10 Reasons Why I Love Lifts

So, I used to be a stairs man myself. I liked that burn you got in your thighs, the thrill, the adrenaline as you ascended or descended to a whole new plain of existence. So what changed that for me? One word.

Lifts.

So why do I love lifts, I hear you ask? Luckily for you, I've come up with a tell-all, exclusive list of why I love lifts, available only here.

1. The colour.

Whether they're your stereotypical silver lifts, or your fancy black lifts, lifts can come in all different colours. I personally prefer any that are coloured in because they're lifts and I'm not prejudiced towards any colour of lift. 

2. The material.

Lifts are made of metal. Specifically steel. Steel is good because it was invented in my hometown of Sheffield. 

3. The music.

What's fancy about lifts is that they have their own genre of music dedicated to them. A group of lift executives in 1910 got together in a room and wondered what entertainment could be provided in lifts (which is really nice and altruistic of them, considering being in a lift in itself is thrilling entertainment) and one of them put their hand right on up in the sky and said: 'what about music'. They couldn't get popular bands to play in lifts, for instance n dubz and metalica said no. So that is why they decided to create a new type of music so there would be no copyright issues. 

4. The interior design.

I don't want to sound melodramatic, but the aesthetics of a lift is fucking incredible. Absolutely spot on, bang on point, brilliant. I've never felt so warm and fuzzy than when I'm in a lift, soaking in the excitement. Whether they're mirrored walls, (which are great because you can see yourself go on forever and ever, and I like to think of that as a visual representation of my undying love for lifts) or whether the walls match the steel doors, the designs are really pretty.

Look how big that is. I'd give my left arms to visit that lift.

5. The doors.

The doors open almost as if I'm telekinetic and the lift knows I'm begging for the doors to open to let me in - but really it's when you press a button.

6. The button.

The button lights up when you press it. 

This is one of them outdoor lifts. It looks like a shower but it isn't one.

7. The panel.

There is a panel of buttons when you walk in which cleverly lets you choose which floor you want to go to in case you already have your mind set on which floor you want to go to. I personally like to close my eyes and press one and be happy with what I'm given. 

8. The lift announcer.

Her voice is very pretty and I would like to go on a date with her but I'm too scared that she would say no. I make an effort to talk to her every day though so I'm not chickening out or anything I'm still good friends.

9. The emergency lift announcer.

This announcer is more verbose, but I like her nonetheless. She's very dominant and sometimes I fancy her but then I feel bad about the lift announcer and I wouldn't want to hurt the lift announcer's feelings.

10. Lifts used to be steam powered.

Yes, like a train. Except lifts are better than trains, because lifts can get you from A to B.


Thanks for reading, I hope you love lifts as much as I do. Why not visit a lift today. Let me know of your experiences on the comments below, and also, please consider donating to Make A Lift Foundation, because lifts are becoming extinct in India due to extensive hunting of lifts. 


Happy lifting.

John.